(originally posted to a CMU newsgroup in December 1995)

Well, here's my take.

My parents are great people. They have their opinions, and I have mine, and we get along like humans because that's what we are.

Now, don't assume from this that I have always gotten along with them. Parents of all sorts are difficult at times, and everyone has their personality problems, but I think I've grown up over the years and I can understand them a lot better.

After my first semester at school, my mother wouldn't let me go into the city on the subway unless i took my younger sister along, since my sister was used to travelling by train and I hadn't done it in 5 months. I was angry, I ranted, I cried, I wrote bad poetry, but you know, she was really just worried that I'd get hurt. Parents worry, and they're supposed to-- it's their job. Some of them just don't express their nervousness as nervousness, and express it in the form of restricting you.

My dad yells. It's his way of expressing himself when he's frustrated. His father yelled, and now sometimes I yell, and my sister yells too. You would think that we would learn lessons from our parents-- my dad yells a lot and I'm never going to be like that... but that's not the way it works. He used to say, "I'm not yelling at you, I'm yelling at the situation," and I used to think that was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard. Now I find myself saying it, and it's true.

But the thing is, I can talk to them about anything. My mom and I are both going through life changes right now, and we can talk about it to each other, like we're friends. When I was upset over my last break-up, I called my dad and we talked for an hour, and a friend of mine who overheard my side of the conversation couldn't believe I was talking to my father. We even recently found out that we have a common love of sound systems (who'd've thought?), and we agree 100% when it comes to which Steven Spielberg movie is the best he's ever done. If you can't actually have a conversation with your parents, how are you ever going to find things like that out?

I only get to see my parents for 2 weeks per year.. that's really sad. The last time I went to visit them, I wanted to spend all of my time just hanging out with them and catching up on our lives. I know it sounds weird, but I really miss them sometimes. I think that what I'm really trying to say is, nobody is perfect, and no one has the perfect parents. But sometimes, when you get a chance to step back and take another point of view, you may realize that they're cooler than you thought, and that you might be able to get along with them after all.